Why we left the EU: a new comedy drama written and directed by Nigel Farage, starring the EU

If ever anyone wants a first look at a concrete example of what voting to leave the EU was all about, look no further. Britain is forging ahead of everyone in the EU with the vaccine rollout and now the EU are resorting to blame tactics and petty gamesmanship to try and justify the mess they’re in. Look to yourselves guys, that’s where the problem lies! Alas, as we all know with institutions that are predicated on the notion of invulnerability and authoritarian leadership, the blame is always somewhere else.

It’s as if the commission secretly are brexiteers and they’re just doing this to show how right we were. Has Nigel Farage borrowed a wad of money from Trump and bribed them? Because at the moment they’re just consolidating everything that is terrible about the EU. Nigel Farage is sitting in his room, beer in hand shovelling down the popcorn while chuckling with glee to himself! Not only was he right but he also now gets to watch a comedy of his own script, playing out on the best stage of them all: complete idiotic, incompetent ignorance!

Britain took a chance early on in ordering vaccines and now it is paying off. They were offered the chance to go “in together” with the EU and refused. Because, unbeknownst to some of the EU commissionnaire generals ahem commissioners, we aren’t actually in the EU any more so we can make our own decisions. We ordered the vaccines early, took a gamble and now it’s paying off.

The EU on the other hand had to have every decision centralised and the member states are fighting with each other. So let me get this straight. The EU was said to be there to ease tensions between countries and help its members. We voted to get out and are having a brilliant time. And the EU are falling apart from the inside. And the EU is forgetting about the safety of its citizens while telling Britain we should give them their vaccines. It’s like an old ex partner still believing they’re in a relationship, blaming you for their problems and demanding control. As the great Hayley Williams put it “Next time you point the finger, I’ll point you to the mirror!”

Luckily we got out of that abusive relationship. It’s just sad that the 28 member states embroiled in this abusive, polyamorous mess are trapped like chickens in a cage while being told they’re free range. Well, I think the farm will be crumbling soon, think Chicken run on a global scale. The only difference is this time, the Scott won’t be leading them to freedom.

A light at the end of the tunnel of this time with Covid has been the vaccine and Britain are sprinting ahead. While Farage pops more corn and we get vaccinated, the EU are throwing their toys out of the pram, at the detriment to their members that they are supposedly so interested in helping.

If the EU wanted to show Britain they were mad for voting to leave, like they keep saying, maybe they’d show some competence and unity. Humility is all they could do right now but that’s about as probable as Nicola Sturgeon listening to Dancing in the Moonlight and ordering male strippers. Or smiling.

As much as I can go on about how we have reacted wrongly to the pandemic, it’s also good to give credit where credit is due. The handling of the vaccine and speed at which it is being done is a success. Let’s hope this provides the light that is starting to be seen at the end of the tunnel. Long live the EU!
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